My destiny is to travel a different road

This semester is winding down. so. much. to. do.

Summer 2012 is going to be fabulous! If I can get a car that is. 

I like work a whole lot. 

I like getting paid a whole lot.

I need two classes to open up so I can finish registering.

Reading Harry Potter for homework is the best homework I’ve ever been assigned. Which is why I kind of wish I was an English major. 

I’m already tired of Christmas music. Who are we kidding mall? Do we really need Santa here TWO WEEKS before Thanksgiving? Lames. 

That is all for today. 

I always thought my friends would be forever. Each and every “best” friend I had would stick around until I got married, had bambinos, and got wrinkly and gray. We would always be in each other’s lives somehow and it would be this perfect little happy dream land. 

It never occurred to me that people go in and out of your life like a thread weaving in and out of cloth.

Okay I lied. It did occur to me. In fact people told me to quit holding on so tightly to people because eventually you have to let them go. Me being me though, I wouldn’t/couldn’t listen and I pushed the thought away. I was very sharey (i’m aware this isn’t a word) and I invested a lot of myself in my friends.

Now though I’m different. I still want to hold onto people, but I’m not as dependent. And I’m not as open. Or at least I’m learning not to be. This has its perks and its flaws though like everything in life. 

The truth behind my independence and lonerdom is that everything and everyone is temporary. As much as we like to make promises, we’re human and we can’t guarantee anything. I want to be able to be alone and be completely happy. Inner happiness I guess.

See I’m going to continue to grow and change as long as I live. Or I intend to at least. If you don’t grow up then I will outgrow you, and it might be sad but that’s just life. But one day, maybe  I’ll learn to be a little less of a loner. A little less independent. One day I may even trade in my independence for dependence and learn to be yours. But it’s not today. 

Sometimes drifting apart is good. Sometimes you have to let go. Sometimes forever is imaginary.